The Journey Continues..

So I have been doing pretty well lately. There is some pretty crappy stuff happening to us right now, so I wanted to feel better. I have literally been sick now with one thing or another with no breaks in between for about two and a half months. I hate it! For about a week now I have slowly realized that I probably am not going to get better unless I get myself healthier. I have been going to subway and ordering the turkey breast and ham six inch on wheat with no cheese and add lettuce onion and fat free honey mustard for lunch. I have been having something like a banana or a special k bar for breakfast. Dinner has never been that big for me so I have been just eating a small portion of whatever I make. I am starting to feel better. I have been going for a walk with my baby every night, which is great cause I am getting some exercise and she loves to go for stroller rides. I think it's all the excitement going on main street. Plus we get to spend some good time together. I have decided that I need to buy some vitamins and start taking them everyday. I just need to figure out what it I should buy. I know the are certain vitamins for certain things. Since I smoke I know I should take more of something but I am not sure what that is. Need to do some research I guess. I am hoping that somewhere on this journey I will also quit smoking but one thing at a time. I really, really want to buy a wii and a wii fit and be able to do some working out with that but I am working on saving up for that so it will be in time I guess. so the journey continue...


Some more news T my baby is getting so big. Auntie R brought over a potty chair so we really have been trying hard to work on that. She is at the age now where she wants to try and do everything herself. Shoe, clothes you name it. It is pretty fun. She is such a little comedian she is always cracking herself and everyone else up. N is getting ready to take gun safety class, says he wants to hunt. Never been one for that but how can I stop someone else from doing it. Hopefully is will be something that he truely enjoys. M is the normal super drama teenage queen. It is such a daily battle and however my parents did it through five girls I will never know. She can bring me to such a point of insanity. I truely have to walk away and really think about what I want to say. Can't get her to do much other than sitting on her phone or on the computer. T jr. is doing super great. He just turned 18 on the 9th of March. We are working on getting him a state ID so we can take him to TI for the night.I think it would really enjoy the bingo with a computer and some slot machines. We thought we would get a room and take him for the night. Do some gambling, have some dinner and do some swimming. I think he will really enjoy that. T Sr. is getting a little worried about his job. It is REALLY slow there right now and he is thinking it is not going to be long before they start eliminating some people. That would be very bad for us and I am keeping my fingers crossed. We would really like to move out of state but it would be diffcult to do with H. I would really only get to see her on school breaks and summer then. It would have to be something I would have to talk to her about. She is 9 now and comes a lot less now cause she has friends and developing her own life. It might be something that would aleast garuntee me that I would see her, since I know she would come. It would be like a vacation for her. Well see what happens. Getting a little ahead of myself. Now H is doing really good. She is not into much for sports but is doing good in school. It is hard to believe she is 9. I can't believe how fast time really does go.

A day not to remember...

I sit at my desk doing my work, thinking about the meeting I am going to have in a few hours. The employee reviews. I think I know they will use the economy because everyone is as their excuse, but my property runs so good and makes good money. My receivable;es are the lowest of any property. It is a very well ran property with money. They are to sure see that and give me a little to work with for raises, right? WRONG!!!! 2:00PM arrives and my boss walks into my office. He looks over the reviews I did on all my employees and then gave me my review. Looks pretty good. The ending overall evaluations says: "Over the last nine months (which is as long as my boss has been my boss) Nicole has been a very good Paramark employee and I think as we continue to work together she will become even better." I thought well this is a pretty good review. So here comes the talk about money. He tells me that he went to the owners of the company and these are the options they came back with. Option #1 you keep all your employees and no one gets a raise and you have to decrease hours or Option #2 you have to eliminate a position, make others employees job responsibilities to increase and everyone can have a 3% raise. A F***in 3% raise on a property with money. I was pissed. I said are you kidding. My boss says no these were the options I was given. I said who have you these options. He says who do you think? I say your Dad and he says yes and my uncle. His dad and uncle who are CEOS of the company I work for plus have a partial ownership in the complex. Damn them how can they put me in this position. So, I have talked with my staff and I have talked with my husband and I have thought and thought about what to do. I really need a raise, but I do not want to fire my cleaner and have my maintenance staff do it. He is a wonderful person who is the Only person here I can count one 100%. He keeps getting shit on over and over again here. I can't stand it, but then that leave only one other position I can eliminate and by doing that I have to fire my best friend. Damn them for putting me through this!!!! So after much thought and more thoughts to come. I think I will have to fire my best friend as it will be only person this will not hurt financially. Her husband is very rich and pays for everything. This is her fun money that she does very much enjoy but she has been unhappy working here and really longs to pursue something new. She used to work in the TV industry and would like to get back into something like that. but it still does not take away the fact that I have to do this to her. I really she hope she can understand that this is my job and these are the decisions I have to make for my job and has nothing to do with my personal life. I will make sound as nice as possible and let her know I have to eliminate a position and it is really the only position I can do without as I can run my office myself. Dang I have such a headache and really hope I am doing the right thing!!!